The best Christmas jokes

The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, life
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, technology, time, Yo mama
Your moms like a christmass tree all the guys put there balls on her.
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has 36.78 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Yo mama
Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
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has 35.21 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Christmas, health
James and Neil were fortunate enough to have a season ticket to watch Manchester United. They could not help noticing that there was always a spare seat next (A16) to them and they had a friend who would love to buy a season ticket, especially if all three could have seats together. One half-time Neil went to the ticket office and asked if they could buy the season ticket for A16. The official said that unfortunately the ticket had been sold. Nevertheless, week after week the seat was still empty. Then on Boxing day, much to James and Neil's amazement the seat was taken for the first time that season. Neil could not resist asking the newcomer, 'Where have you been all season'. 'Don't ask' he said, 'the wife bought the season ticket back last summer, and kept it for a surprise Christmas present.'
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, soccer, sport, wife
Your mamma so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas when Jusse said his first words you a hoe.
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has 31.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, Christmas, Yo mama
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
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has 23.01 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, stupid, Yo mama
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
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has 22.13 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: baby, Christmas, disgusting, health