The best Christmas jokes

Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, computer, elf, nerd
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, insulting, Yo mama
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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has 43.55 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, stupid
What do monkeys sing at Christmas? Jungle bells!
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has 43.46 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Christmas
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: baby, Christmas, flirt, sex
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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has 40.15 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, life
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
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