The best Christmas jokes

Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer? A: "First, YULE LOGon"!
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, computer, elf, nerd
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: baby, Christmas, flirt, sex
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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has 42.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, stupid
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris
The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, life
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, Santa
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
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