The best Christmas jokes

Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!
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has 47.97 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, geek, Halloween, IT, programmer
Q: What do cannibal tax advisors do after their office Christmas Dinner? A: Toast their clients.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, customer service, food, tax
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
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has 47.59 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Santa leaves out cookies for Chuck Norris.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, food, Santa
What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes? A real Christmas Card!
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has 45.60 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, stupid
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, Christmas, flirt, sex
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, Chuck Norris, kids, Santa
Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, fat, insulting, Yo mama
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. "Why do you want two tattoos there?" So she says "Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, food, husband, new year, women
The holiday season: A deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, money, religious, time
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