Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.