Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".
Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"