Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris... Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia. While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.