Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
Chuck Norris created the Grand Canyon because he coughed "Just Once".