The best Chuck Norris jokes

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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has 43.40 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, math
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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has 42.60 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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has 42.56 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, duck
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, funeral
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, god, time
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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