Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Barack Obama was elected president of the USA because Chuck Norris said so. He remind him of Trivette...
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".