The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, work
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore
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More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, game, IT, technology
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, soccer
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris