Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
Chuck norris sneezes bullets at people.
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
Obama said, "Yes we can." Chuck Norris says, "I already did.".