Chuck Norris like life... lucky her.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.