Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
America doesn't need a military... We've got Chuck Norris