Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
The smoothie was invented when Chuck Norris needed information from a banana.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.