Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.