When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you. When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
When Chuck Norris kills time, that'll be the end of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't take the cake, the cake sees Chuck Norris and begs to be devoured.