Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
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Q: What do you call a teenage girl who doesn't masturbate?
A: Liar.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime.
Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
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What do you call a truck full of dildos?
Toys for Twats.
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A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill.
However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick.
So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car.
He informs her of his dilemma.
"Hey Jill, I have a problem."
"Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks
"I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?"
"Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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