Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
Vote:
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident, but he still managed to walk it off.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can make a pound cake with only an ounce.
Vote:
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter.
She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake.
Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs.
The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!"
She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine."
Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.."
And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine."
But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
Vote:
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15."
The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?"
The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15."
The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time.
The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating.
The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
Vote:
A black hole is created when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks a sun.
Vote: