90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!