90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.