My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code.
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
A programmer had a problem. He decided to use Java. He now has a ProblemFactory.