My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it. Now I have two problems.
90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance.
Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: "Hello world!"
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women? A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1.