The best communication jokes

I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, "Come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.
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has 71.97 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: communication, fitness, gym, mean
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword. Paddy asks, "How do you spell paint"? Murphy replies, "What color?"
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has 71.88 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: communication, kids, stupid
I spotted several pairs of men's Levi's at a garage sale. They were sizes 30, 31, and 32, but I was looking for size 33. So I asked the owner if he had a pair. He shook his head. "I'm still wearing the 33s," he said. "Come back next year."
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has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, fat, time
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don't know shit?" And then she went back to reading her book.
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has 71.70 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: atheist, communication, god, religious
On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. "Why couldn't this happen on my last day of hunting?!" the hunter cried to the doctor. "It did," the doctor replied.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, hunting, mean, time
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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has 71.59 % from 1232 votes. More jokes about: birthday, communication, dirty, lesbian, sex
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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has 71.35 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
A tomato walks into work and a potato says: "Hello, Tomatoe..." He responds: "My name is not Tomatoe, it's just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you "Potatoe"? "Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!"
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, work
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
Yo' Mama got one eye and one leg. We call her IHOP.
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has 71.12 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: communication, insulting, Yo mama
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