Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!
Yo mammas so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, her reflection said," I quit." And walked away.
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
[first day as a pilot] Control tower: What are your coordinates? Me: I'm by a cloud that looks like a lion. Control tower: Can you be more specific? Me: Simba
Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
A guy asks a Chinese lady for her phone number she says, "Free, sex, free, sex, tonight." The guy said," wow" and her friend says she means 363629.
A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries. After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here." "At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
Yo mama is so fat that when she asked, "Why is the grass always greener on the other side?" Everyone replied, "'Cause you aren't standing on it."
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen... Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?" Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"