The best communication jokes

Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q? A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
Vote: has 72.71 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing. He found her to be possessive and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, marriage
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dating, hunting, men, women
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, sex
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, communication, mean, wife
The buzzword of this election is "CHANGE." Candidates toss it around without saying what they want to change to. Just that we need CHANGE! This brings to mind the following illustration... Years ago, there was an old tale in the Marine Corps about a lieutenant who inspected his Marines and told the "Gunny" that they smelled bad. The lieutenant suggested that they change their underwear. The "Gunny" responded, "Aye, aye, sir. I'll see to it immediately." He went into the tent and said, "The lieutenant thinks you guys smell bad, and he wants you to change your underwear. Smith, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, Brown, you change with Schultz..." "Change, now get on with it!" And the moral is: A candidate may promise change in Washington... but the stink remains!
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, life, military, political, time
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, communication, dinosaur
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?" The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel!! No, think of another wish." The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment... know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'... know how to make them truly happy...." The genie asked, "Do you want that bridge two lanes or four?"
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, divorce, genie, travel
Q: How do you make holy water? A: You boil the hell out of it.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, religious, science


<<<14151617
More jokes →
Page 14 of 39.