Q: What did the grape say when it was crushed?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
Vote:
Client: "Please remove the unnecessary circle at the end of the sentence."
Me: "You mean... the period?"
Client: "I don't care what you designers call it; it is unsightly. Delete it."
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Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction?
A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!
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Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?"
"Bread"
"Yes"
"Hamburger"
"Ok"
A five years girl answered "Light",
"Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?"
"Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir."
"What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss.
"Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
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Wife asked her husband to give her the newspaper.
Husband: "How backward you are? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper... Take my iPad..."
Wife took the iPad and killed the Cockroach.
Husband faints.
Moral: Whatever the wife asks, give her without argument. Show your smartness in office, not at home.
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Son: "Dad, I'm cold..."
Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
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A 10-point buck walked into a lodge restaurant and ordered a burger and fries.
After the deer finished and was paying, the cashier said, "We don't see too many deer around here."
"At these prices," replied the buck, "I'm not surprised."
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Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say?
A: "You're cold."
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Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.
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