The new office-boy came into his boss's office and said, "I think you re wanted on the phone, sir." "What d you mean, you think?" demanded the boss. "Well, sir, the phone rang, I answered it and a voice said is that you, you old fool?"
Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, "So I hear you hunt deer." The man looked away and turned red. "What's wrong?" asked the woman. "I'm not used to someone calling me dear on the first date," the man said.
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water. I decided to tell the waitress. "This soup is awful," I said. "I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex? A: Lefty.
Q: What did the fire monster that was slayed by the water monster say? A: "You're cold."
When somebody is totally angry, why not say: "Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
A businessman hires a private detective to find a missing accountant. The detective tells him that he needs a description and asks a few questions. "Was he tall or was he short?" The businessman replies, "Both!"
Yo mama is so poor that when I saw her walking down the street with one shoe and said "Hey miss, lost a shoe?" She said, "Nope, just found one!"