The best communication jokes

A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.

Q: Know why skeletons are so calm? A: Because nothing gets under their skin.

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."

Q: What is the difference between frustration and satisfaction? A: What the Fuck! and What a Fuck!

Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? Bless you.

A Sailor sent an e-mail to his wife, informing her that his ship would be returning from deployment a day early. Arriving home, he found his wife with another man. Upset, he stormed off and got a room at the Navy Lodge to decide what to do next. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his mother-in-law. "Bill" she said, "I checked with my daughter and, as I expected, there is a perfectly good explanation for this whole episode." "This I've got to hear," the Sailor said. "It was an honest mistake," the mother-in -law said. " She never got your e-mail!"

Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."

I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.

I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.