The best communication jokes

Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice? A: He didn't give a hoot!
Vote:
has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, communication
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
Vote:
has 65.22 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, kids, teacher, vulgar
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
One day the teacher was asking the class about there weekends. She asked sue, "how was your weekend?" "Good." Then little Johnny waved his hand "me, me, me." Finally giving in said, "what did you do this weekend?" "I rode in my wagon pulled by my dog and hit a steep hill. The wagon started going faster than the dog and the handle went up his ass." "Rectum is the word you're looking for," she says. "Rectum," said Johnny, "da man near killed him."
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, dog, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
A builder was once building a fence to surround a farmer's sheep. The builder finished, and the farmer was ready to pay. The builder then came up to the farmer and said: "Sir, I hope this isn't too a-fenc-ive.
Vote:
has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: communication, money, work
Q: What was the world's first palindrome? A: Madam, I'm Adam.
Vote:
has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: bible, communication, history
How to speak Irish: Whale Oil Beef Hooked Say them all quickly.
Vote:
has 65.08 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: communication, ethnic, geography
One day a fellow came into the bar with a cat, not just any cat, but a mean-looking ginger tom. You could see the scars from across the room. But that wasn't the weirdest thing; a six-foot ostrich - eyes like golf balls, followed them in - a real live ostrich! I asked the man what he wanted. "I'll have a pint of bitter," he said. "A pint of lager for the ostrich and a gin and tonic for the cat." The cat hissed at him. "Make that a double gin and tonic. Thanks." Well, I served the drinks, he paid, and they all knocked 'em back. Wasn't long before the ostrich came back to the bar, and made it clear that it wanted the same again. Well, I poured them. I could feel the cat's eyes burning through me as if he was checking that he got his double again. I took the drinks over to them, and the man paid, taking the cash from a purse tied around the ostrich's neck. This went on for a couple of hours. The man and the ostrich buying alternate rounds, while the cat just sat on the window shelf with his drink, looking fit to kill. The whole place got quiet. People sat and stared, and who could blame them? Eventually, I plucked up the courage to ask the fellow just what was going on. "Can't a man have a quiet drink anymore?" he rasped. So I said, "No harm meant, but you've got to admit that you're a unique set of drinkers. He smiled, but there was no light in that smile. "Okay, you want to know? I'll tell you." "I was across town the other week, working on the new road. Amid the dirt and the rubble, I turned up this old brass lamp. I rubbed it, thinking there might be a date or inscription or something. Anyway, out comes this cloud of smoke and a Genie appeared. You know - turban, scimitar, and the whole works. And he tells me I've got just one wish." "And before you ask, yes, I did wish for a long-legged bird with a tight pussy. But this wasn't what I had in mind."
Vote:
has 65.08 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: bar, cat, communication, dirty, genie
One day a priest told the Mother Superior that he was going into town and try to convert some ladies of the evening. Later off he went and drove to a certain part of town known for the ladies of the evening. The first one he approached asked him before he had a chance to say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10" He was clueless and embarrassed and left quickly. He approached another young woman and again before he could say a word she said "heh Father, how about a little head for 10?" Again he left quickly and returned to the convent. Once back he saw Mother Superior and quietly took him aside and whispered Mother Superior "what's head?" She replied "$10.00 same as in town."
Vote:
has 65.08 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, money, priest, sex
I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub. She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, relationship, romantic
<<<22232425
More jokes →
Page 22 of 45.