Q: What do you call fake spaghetti?
A: "I'm pasta."
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In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes.
St. Peter: "What do you want? "
Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus."
St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
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I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game.
This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball".
So I adjusted my stance and took another swing.
Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball."
So I stepped back a little more and swung.
This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about!
The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
Q: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
A: HIGH-Definition.
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Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q?
A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
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Q: What did the cow say to the other cow?
A: Moo.
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Yesterday I lost my pen.
Today I saw it in my girlfriend's hand When I told her: "My PEN IS in your hand."
She began to laugh.
I don'nt why...
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Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."
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Q: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches Long?
A: Because if it will 12 inches then it will a foot.
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