The best communication jokes

Drunk guy gets pulled over. Officer starts doing sobriety tests on him. The final test the officer says "if you can pass this last test I will let u go... use the words green pink and yellow in 1 sentence." So the drunk man replies "My phone went green and I pinked it up and said yellow. Have a nice day officer!"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, drunk
Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Your Moma is so fat the only words she knows is the universe.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, Yo mama
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't. Look at their oddball requests: A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard. A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german. A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck. A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, dog, money, phone, work
It was the standard series of check-in questions that every traveler gets at the airlines counter, including, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" "If it was put there without my knowledge," I asked, "how would I know?" The agent behind the counter smiled smugly. "That's why we ask."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, travel
If you understand English, press 1. If you do not understand English, press 2.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service
Yo mama is so fat, it takes two texts for her to send a selfie.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, fat, insulting, technology, Yo mama
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down. He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring. As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?" To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!" And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, time, work
While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. "If you get your train," I told him, "your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?" The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, I asked, "What else would you like Santa to bring you?" He promptly replied, "Another train."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, communication, kids, work
My boss is in the process of filling an open manager position. I asked him to please hire a man because women are crazy. He agreed with me. I got upset that he agreed. I'm pretty sure I unintentionally proved my point.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, mean, women, work
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