The best communication jokes

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"

My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment. The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat." He smiled. "Done."

In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks. On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club. When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said: "Mine is 10 inches long" The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing: "Here isn't a suitable place for you." The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."

Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."

Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.

A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS: Dangerous Excessive Member Of Crazy Rats

Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"

During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job: "Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?" Johny: "Openness!" Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!" Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"

Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.

Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.