Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? A: A white guy can say "Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".
There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina? A: A woman.
Q: What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes? A: Doyouthinkysaraus.
When you have a question you check with Google. When Google has a question they check with Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris has a question everybody better run!
During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job: "Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?" Johny: "Openness!" Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!" Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
Me "Hi! Welcome to McDonald's! Can I take your Mcorder?" Boss "You don't have to put Mc in front of everything." Me "Oh okay. Hi! Welcome to Donalds! Can I take your order?" Boss "Get out."