There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? A: A white guy can say "Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".
During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job: "Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?" Johny: "Openness!" Interviewer: "But the openness isn't a weak feature!" Johny: "Ok, but I fuck what you think!"
Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
What did the big angel say to the little angel on Christmas Eve? Answer: "Halo there!"
Q: Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like? A: Cavrone puta puta puta.
When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
A true meaning of the word DEMOCRATS: Dangerous Excessive Member Of Crazy Rats