What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
I posted a blonde joke on facebook accompanied by: "for my blonde friends... an apology". One of them responded. "You don't have to apologise for having blonde friends."
Q: What did the basketball say when he got deflated? A: "Oh balls."
I was walking down the street with my wife earlier when she accused me of being ashamed to be seen with her. "That's total bollocks" I replied. By text, from across the road.
Is it still rape if you yell 'Surprise!' first?
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark? A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? A: A white guy can say "Hey Dad" and "Good morning officer".
Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter? A: You would think R but it is the C that love.
Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? A: A teacher.