The best cop jokes

"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, communication, cop, driving, family
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death, drunk
A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death, food, life
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop
A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident - body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: "Head on bullevard" and scratchs out his spelling error. "Head on bouelevard" Nope, doesn't look right - scratch scratch. "Head on boolevard..." dang it! Scratch scratch. He looks around and sees that no one is looking at him as he kicks the head. "Head on curb."
Vote: has 67.34 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
Vote: has 67.34 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, dirty, viagra
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined. “You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!”, retorted the officer. “You’re so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn’t even notice that your left arm was ripped off!” “Oh no!”, replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was. “Where’s my Rolex???!!!”
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
Vote: has 66.96 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death, fitness