The best cop jokes

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk, phone
The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?" "Yes. What can we do for you?" "I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood." "Thank you, this will be noted." Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood for you?" "Yeah, they did." "Okay, now it’s YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, drug, phone
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, history, memory, phone, stupid
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
Vote: has 64.91 % from 596 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks, "You drinkin'?" The driver said, "You buyin'?"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, money
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, death, fitness
Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, insulting
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle.
Vote: has 64.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school. Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?" "Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
Vote: has 64.71 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, dad, little Johnny, school


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