The best cop jokes

Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. The mayor sees him and asks, "Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?" "I'm taking her to the bulls so she would get impregnated," answers Johnny. The mayor is shocked, "Surely your father had better be doing that?" Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, "Nah, I think it's really best left with the bulls."
Vote:
has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk, phone
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle.
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: cop
Caitlin Jenner and her chauffer were parked on a highway. When a policeman pulled up and asked "What's going on?" The driver said "I blew my tranny." The cop didn't know if he should arrest them for indecent exposure or call AAA.
Vote:
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drug, travel
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
Vote:
has 65.03 % from 604 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
The policeman tells Johny at the police station following: "The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head."Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?" Johny: "Only three euros." The policeman: "Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial."
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: cop, little Johnny, money
Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house. Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, “STOP! Acts 2:38!” (”Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.”) As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly, several officers arrived and took the man into custody. As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers asked, “Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was mention a scripture verse.” “Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an axe and two 38’s!”
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: cop
<<<16171819
More jokes →
Page 16 of 40.