The best cop jokes

"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
Vote:
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, cop, driving, family
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, cop, time, wife
A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, cop, drunk, phone
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can’t even ride a bicycle.
Vote:
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: cop
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house. Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, “STOP! Acts 2:38!” (”Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.”) As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly, several officers arrived and took the man into custody. As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers asked, “Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was mention a scripture verse.” “Scripture?” replied the burglar. “She said she had an axe and two 38’s!”
Vote:
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: cop
There's a black and a Mexican in a car, who's driving? The Cop
Vote:
has 65.09 % from 611 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, cop, mexican, racist
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, death, food, life
Your nails are so long when you come around the corner the police arrested you for dangerous weapons.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop, insulting
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she reported her stolen crack to the cops.
Vote:
has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cop, drug, stupid, Yo mama
<<<16171819
More jokes →
Page 16 of 40.