A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
A group of blondes was going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day, I am going to dial 911 and call the cops!"
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home? A search warren.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club. Police are looking into it.
Microsoft Office doesn't correct Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris correct Microsoft Office.
The officer reported to the watch commander about having no luck with the witness. "Did you browbeat him, yell at him, and ask him every question you could come up with?" asked the watch commander. "I certainly did." "And?" "And he said, 'Yes dear you're right,' and dozed off!"
A sargeant bawled out a rookie. "Did you watch all of the exits like I told you?" "Yep," the rookie answered. "I think he must have left by one of the entrances!
Did you hear about the policeman who found a stolen car on Acacia Street? He pushed it onto Park Street – he couldn’t spell Acacia.