The best cop jokes

A lot of people are desperate today. A fellow walked up to me, he said, "You see a cop around here?" I said, "No." He said, "Stick 'em up!"
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
When President Roosevelt dropped the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, he did so only because it was more human then sending Chuck Norris.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: cop
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, sir. You’re obviously drunk” The wasted wino asked, “Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.” Obviously relieved, the wino said “That’s a relief - I thought I was a cripple.”
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window... "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo -- of handcuffs.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
A group of blondes was going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day, I am going to dial 911 and call the cops!"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, cop, travel
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop
Yo' Mama is so stupid, when she was pulled over for drunk driving and asked to walk a line, she said, "Which one?"
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, drunk, stupid, Yo mama
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