Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
Roses are red tulips are black. You'd look great with a knife in your back.
Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide. "I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that." Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him. The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died? A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.