The best death jokes

Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, disgusting, drug
Q: What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man who shot himself 15 times? A: The worst suicide case he has ever seen.
Vote: has 42.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, cop, death, racist
Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife’s beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, asher voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I’ve got a confession to make before I go... I... I’m the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I’m afraid I also was theone who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..." "That’s all right dearest; don’t even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I’m the one who poisoned you."
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, hospital, marriage, money, wife
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote: has 41.91 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
Vote: has 40.31 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sport
Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife. Boy:- papa mom has died. father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, kids, wife
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked. Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?” God says, “That was the screen saver”.
Vote: has 38.22 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, celebrity, death, god, IT