Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
Death once got sentenced to Chuck Norris.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Q: Why is Al Qaeda more compassionate than pro-lifers? A: The 9/11 hijackers got to die instantly.