The best death jokes

Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT, life, phone
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!" At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same beer. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death. The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
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has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, blonde, celebrity, death
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, music
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
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has 54.92 % from 170 votes. More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
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