The best death jokes

What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
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has 48.93 % from 232 votes. More jokes about: black people, death
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
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has 48.58 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, game
Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death, health, life
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, flirt, sex
Mary held her little daughter, twenty minutes under water. Not to care for any troubles, just to look at those funny bubbles.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, death, morbid, poems
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
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has 47.64 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: death, jewish, sex
A Gujarati Funeral… A family in Gujarat got simply puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Puj. Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the Daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to all her brothers and sisters: Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben & Varsha, I am sending Puj. Ba’s dead body to you, since it was her last wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in Kadhywad, GUJARAT, India. Sorry, I could not come, all of my paid leaves got consumed. You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s body, 5 cans of cheese, 10 packets of Tobler chocolates, 8 packets of Badam and few items for Kids. Please divide these among all of you. Near Ba’s feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct! Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan and rest you can decide. The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys. The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist. Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take it. The few pairs of white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided among all the Nephews. Please distribute all these above items fairly & equally. Yours loving sister, Anubhavi P.S.: If anything more needed, let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days…
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: death, food, funeral, life
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