Mary held her little daughter,
twenty minutes under water.
Not to care for any troubles,
just to look at those funny bubbles.
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting.
I'm not getting up."
Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
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The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
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The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday.
Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
"Listen up, men," says the Sergeant.
"Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers.
The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance.
Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died.
You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation.
"Ok, men, fall in and listen up."
"Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
Q: What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man who shot himself 15 times?
A: The worst suicide case he has ever seen.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
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Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke.
The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
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