The best death jokes

Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, Halloween, teen
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
has 48.92 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: death, jewish, sex
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
has 48.72 % from 231 votes. More jokes about: black people, death
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
has 48.67 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
An American family has grandparents who live in Russia. Every month, the grandparents send a package of powder to the American family. The package always says: "Just add water." Every time the family does this the powder turns into a delicious soup. The soups are always different and the family is always excited to find out which new foreign flavor they get to try out. One day, the family receives a package in the mail containing some gray powder. Assuming that this is another soup, the family dumps it into a pot and adds some water. However, unlike all the other soups, this one t astes grainy and disgusting. The family still eats it though just to be polite. A week later, a letter from the grandpa comes in the mail saying: "Grandma Taya has died and I have sent the ashes to you. She wants to be scattered in America as that is her favorite place."
has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, ethnic, family, food, geography
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, game
Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit? A: A dead epileptic.
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
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