The best death jokes

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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has 42.87 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored. The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers." The retard says ," OK ". When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling. He goes over and starts beating their asses. He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer. He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?" The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."
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has 42.63 % from 216 votes. More jokes about: black people, cowboy, death, health, racist
Death has a shadow... Chuck Norris
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
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has 42.47 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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has 42.26 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
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