The best dirty jokes

Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest. Cecil ask, "What you doing?"" Rupert said, "I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest. Cecil said, "Don't be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of my arse..."
Vote:
has 78.35 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after." She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!"
Vote:
has 78.32 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
Vote:
has 78.31 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, sex, time
A guy orders spaghetti in a restaurant. In the middle of eating he finds a hair in his food. He says to the waiter, "I'm not paying for this dirty meal," and walks out. The waiter watches the guy go into a whorehouse. The waiter waits about 10 minutes, bursts through the door and finds the guy with his face buried in p**sy. The waiter says, "You eat p**sy and complain about one hair in your spaghetti." The man replies, "Yeah, and if I find any spaghetti in this p**sy, I'm not paying for it either."
Vote:
has 78.22 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Vaginas are like weather, when it's wet, it's time to go inside.
Vote:
has 78.19 % from 1905 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, weather
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Vote:
has 78.10 % from 464 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
Vote:
has 78.06 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, family, work
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
Vote:
has 78.05 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music, women
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
Vote:
has 78.03 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Vote:
has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
<<<23242526
More jokes →
Page 23 of 96.