The best dirty jokes

A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night." All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."
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has 77.60 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Bloke in hospital with 60% burns, Dr. says, "Give him two Viagra." Nurse asks, "Do you think that will help?" Dr replies, "No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!"
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has 77.59 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: dirty, hospital, medical, nurse, viagra
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
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has 77.57 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter. He asks the first nun: "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun replies: "I poked one once." St Peter says: "Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven." He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I findled with one once." "Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven." Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front. "Whats wrong?" he asks. The nun replies "If im going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it."
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has 77.53 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, religious
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 77.53 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
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has 77.52 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music, women
A crazy man jumps from the bushes and opens his coat in front of an old lady to surprise and terrify her. The granny takes a look at him and sais: "oh, dash, I´ve forgotten to buy the eggs."
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, memory, old people
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine"
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has 77.49 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Man gives blood too save his wifes life. Few months later they are divorced. Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!" Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."
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has 77.45 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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