The best dirty jokes

Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
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has 77.07 % from 175 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand." "Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?" "I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"
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has 77.04 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation
An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
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has 77.02 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, masturbation, money, sex
Mr. Smith, the biology instructor at a Highschool, said during class, “Miss Jones, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.” Miss Jones gasped, then said, “Mr. Smith, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this.” With that she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. Smith called on Miss Brown and asked the same question. Miss Brown, replied, “The pupil of the eye, in dim light.” “Correct,” said Mr. Smith. “And now, Miss Jones, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
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has 76.96 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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has 76.95 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80 years old, widower, with 11 grandchildren. Last night I met two beautiful flight attendants. They took me home and I made love to both of them. Twice.” The priest says, “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?” “Never Father, I’m Jewish.” “So then, why are you telling me?” “I’m telling everybody!”
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has 76.87 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, jewish, old people, priest
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
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has 76.87 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music, women
What did O say to Q Dude your dicks hanging out
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has 76.86 % from 1025 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
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has 76.78 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
When do boys ask for a girl’s hand? When they get bored by theirs!
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has 76.68 % from 272 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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