Joke #5074

A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."
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has 78.13 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A bus full of nuns crashes and unforunatly they all die at the gates of heaven they meet St Peter. He asks the first nun: "Have you ever had any contact with a penis?" The nun replies: "I poked one once." St Peter says: "Wash your finger in this holy water and enter heaven." He asks the next nun the same question, she replies "I findled with one once." "Wash your hand in this holy water and enter heaven." Then St Peter hears a commotion among the other nuns and one nun pushes to the front. "Whats wrong?" he asks. The nun replies "If im going to have to gargle that holy water, I want to do it before Sister Anne washes her ass in it."
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has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dirty, religious
Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year." The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."
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has 75.48 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny was at school one day, when he noticed that there was a large crowd of kids gathered around Little Billy. Little Johnny walks up to Little Billy and says "Hey what's all the excitement about", Little Billy says "Just showing everyone my new watch". Little Johnny goes "Wow, that's a cool watch where did you get it?" Little Billy says "Well, I walked in on my mom and dad having sex over the weekend, and my dad was so mad he gave me spanking and sent me to my room". The next day, he feel guilty about what he had done and went and bought me this cool Watch. This gives Little Johnny a good idea. Later that night, when Little Johnny was sent to bed, he stayed up listening and waiting for his mom and dad to go to bed. Once he starts hearing noises coming from their room he runs down the hall, throws their bedroom door open, and yells "I want a watch!" His dad looks over to Johnny and says "Well okay, but sit in the corner and be quiet!"
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has 81.80 % from 381 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, little Johnny, school, sex
When do boys ask for a girl’s hand? When they get bored by theirs!
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has 76.67 % from 286 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
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has 41.52 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, women
A man comes home and tells his wife to tell him something that is going to laugh and cry. Wife thinks for a minute and says... "of all your friends you have the biggest dick."
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has 79.24 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, marriage, mean, sex
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
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has 83.62 % from 511 votes. More jokes about: dirty, divorce, lawyer
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
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has 39.08 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, jewish, men, women
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy. A: Indi-anus
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has 6.58 % from 635 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, gay, racist