The best dirty jokes

Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, gay, life
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, vulgar
Mr. Smith, the biology instructor at a Highschool, said during class, “Miss Jones, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions.” Miss Jones gasped, then said, “Mr. Smith, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this.” With that she sat down red-faced. Unperturbed, Mr. Smith called on Miss Brown and asked the same question. Miss Brown, replied, “The pupil of the eye, in dim light.” “Correct,” said Mr. Smith. “And now, Miss Jones, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
Vote: has 76.27 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
Vote: has 76.25 % from 741 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex
A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. With that, the baby pops right back inside. “Damn!”, says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. “Are you my dad?”, asks the baby. “No, I am your doctor.”, he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother’s womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, “Nurse, get that baby’s father in here right away–we may have a situation on our hands!”. Moments later the baby’s father is in the delivery room, and the baby’s head once again pops out. “Are you my dad?”, the baby asks of the father. The father replies, “Yes, little baby, I am your father!” The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger–”How do you like that?”
Vote: has 76.19 % from 173 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, birthday, dirty, doctor, women
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Vote: has 76.15 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, dating, dirty
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
Vote: has 76.11 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient and quicker. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating. Curious, the man ask “What are they doing in there”? The nurse responds, “They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care..”
Vote: has 76.09 % from 191 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, health, hospital, masturbation
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, family, work
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks. On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club. When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said: "Mine is 10 inches long" The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing: "Here isn't a suitable place for you." The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, vulgar


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