The best dirty jokes

Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that's how us guys feel about push-up bras!
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has 76.63 % from 323 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 76.62 % from 576 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
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has 76.59 % from 392 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without, Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell, Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, he touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee, Last was a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt.
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has 76.48 % from 577 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, sex
When do boys ask for a girl’s hand? When they get bored by theirs!
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has 76.45 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.
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has 76.44 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn't want to appear insensitive, he also doesn't want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says: "Wow! That was the best kiss I've ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl..."
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has 76.41 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
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has 76.38 % from 772 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
When I was younger I used to think having sex was kissing naked. One day after showering my dog came in the restroom, so I kissed him on the head, after realizing what I did I ran downstairs, and told my mom that I had sex with the dog, you can image her face after hearing this. Yep I was a very dumb child.
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has 76.29 % from 653 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, kids, sex
Q: Why is a blood bank more profitable than a sperm bank? A: The sperm is handmade.
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has 76.27 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, money
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