The best dirty jokes

An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face. "What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord. "Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !" "Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord. "No ..." he says, "I never found the head."
Vote: has 71.87 % from 101 votes. Send joke:
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A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
Vote: has 71.86 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
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Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
Vote: has 71.80 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "firetruck"! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
Vote: has 71.64 % from 715 votes. Send joke:
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Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone? Billy says, "No way, that'd be embarassing". Johnny then asks, "Wanna go camping?"
Vote: has 71.64 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
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Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
Vote: has 71.56 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
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Undertaker to bereaved husband. When did you 1st notice your wife was dead? Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."
Vote: has 71.56 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
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What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
Vote: has 71.45 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
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