Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common? A: Both take it in the rear.
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back." Jonny: "That's what she said." Miss: "Get out!" Jonny "She said that too."
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."