The best dirty jokes

Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom? A: I don’t know… ask your father.
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has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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has 68.60 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dirty, masturbation
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
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has 68.44 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, sex
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 68.25 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?" The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates “Who was the first man?” asked Peter. “Adam.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Soon another man came along. “Where did Adam and Eve live?” ”Eden.” “That’s correct. Enter.” Then Mother Theresa came along. “Ooh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?” “Mmm, that IS a hard one.” “Enter.”
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, heaven
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