The best dirty jokes

Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom? A: I don’t know… ask your father.
Vote: has 68.72 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: "Little Johnny can you say a sentence to use with dirty words? Little Johnny: "Yesterday my school was late so I had to run in order to reach on time." Teacher: "You didn't use any bad word in your sentence." Little Johnny: "Well, when I was running I farted many times!"
Vote: has 68.64 % from 151 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, vulgar
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, work
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed. The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex, wife
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
Vote: has 68.54 % from 154 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, gay
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Vote: has 68.53 % from 86 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
Vote: has 68.50 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife


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