Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you.
A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks. "No", the guy says, "She's not that ugly."
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."