The best dirty jokes

Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!
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has 69.30 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, vulgar
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
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has 69.30 % from 755 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life, wife
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
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has 69.24 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
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has 69.23 % from 125 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
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has 69.23 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
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has 69.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
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has 69.11 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
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