The best dirty jokes

Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar
Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders. The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo". The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo". The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up. The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death." The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"
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has 68.14 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: dirty
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
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has 68.03 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: dirty, funeral, insulting, sex, wife
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?" His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
A little while later Johnny's dad hears a commotion coming from Johnny's bedroom, he rushes in and is horrified to see Johnny shagging his gran! Johnny just looks at him and says "not so funny when its your mum is it ?"
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has 67.89 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: dirty
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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