The best dirty jokes

I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, communication, dirty, school
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, wife, work
The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Vote: has 68.68 % from 137 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, game, masturbation, sex
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, science, Yo mama
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, internet, sex
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans. Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish. He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World. The Genie pales, and says, "Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, woven into the very fabric of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen." "Okay", the guy says. "Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me, with the best blowjob I've ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading - just because she likes it, because she wants to, and because it turns her on." The Genie shakes his head and says, "Let me see that map again!
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, genie, sex, war, wife
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon? A: A Tic-Tac.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty


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