The best dirty jokes

A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
Vote:
has 67.14 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, dirty, doctor, friendship
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, sex
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any s*xual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his p*nis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
One day, an old guy gets on a bus. Several minutes later a punk kid with red, green, and orange hair gets on. The kid notices that the old man keeps staring at him. "What you staring at, old man? Ain't you ever done anything wild in your time?" "Yeah. I screwed a parrot once. I was wondering if you were my son?"
Vote:
has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty, parrot, sex
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them. The first nun has a stroke. The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
Vote:
has 67.10 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?" Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
Vote:
has 67.09 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, sex
boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)
Vote:
has 67.07 % from 344 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Knock-Knock Who is there? A long penis with a naked head. Come in please we were waiting for you.
Vote:
has 66.78 % from 624 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Vote:
has 66.66 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, easter, sex
<<<44454647
More jokes →
Page 44 of 96.