Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?"
Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet.
She is funny, s*xy and flirty.
Now she tells me she is an undercover cop.
How cool is that at her age!
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians?
One hundred people who don't do dick.
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.
He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'."
His wife says, "That's a duck."
He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
Q: Why do vegetarians give good head?
A: Beause they're used to eating nuts.
There was three girls and they all had boyfriends and separate rooms.
The mom walked by all the rooms.
The first room she hears laughing, the second room she heard screaming and the third was totally quiet.
The mom was suspicious, so she asked the third girl why was she so quiet she replied, "My boyfriend said not to talk with my mouth full."
Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.