The best dirty jokes

Q: Whats the difference between Niagara and Viagra? A: Niagara Falls.
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, viagra
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time
Q: What did dick say to rubber? A: "Cover me I'm going in."
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white male and resident of Wimbledon UK, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Bloggs will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that after a night of drinking, as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Bloggs went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, poked a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Bloggs apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer B.T. approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said Officer BT. "I walked up to (Bloggs) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin". BT went on to describe what happened when she approached Bloggs: "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me, sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
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has 61.53 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, dirty, sport, time
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
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has 61.53 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, poems
The Unfortunate Penis: - You've got a hole in your head. - You always hang around with two nuts. - Your closest neighbor is an a**hole. - Your best friend is a pussy. - Every time you get excited, you throw up.
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
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has 61.42 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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