The best dirty jokes

I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, kids, masturbation
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
Vote: has 56.73 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
Vote: has 56.66 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, music
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote: has 56.47 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, dirty, kids, party, white people
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
Vote: has 56.20 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
Vote: has 56.16 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, Santa, wife
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote: has 55.78 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: What did the prick say to the balls? A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!
Vote: has 55.37 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty