I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Boy - "dear Santa, for xmas, I would like a baby brother." Santa - "Send me your mother."
The pregnancy report of Santu’s wife came. Doctor said, "Oh, nothing to get excited, it was just the gas problem." Santu looks up at the sky towards the God and says, "Lord, What have you given me, a penis or an Air Pump."
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Sure, I love to cook, but that doesn't mean I'm against eating out.
Q: What did the prick say to the balls? A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!