The best dirty jokes

What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Vote: has 50.17 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? You come in one and you go in the other!
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WTF? = Where's The Food?
Vote: has 50.06 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
Vote: has 49.74 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
Vote: has 49.00 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand. The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something. "What are you looking for?" Billy asked. "Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied. So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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