The best dirty jokes

What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
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has 60.30 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch. "Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
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has 60.22 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer
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has 60.11 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty
Dear Husband, I have been feeling really dirty lately. Please do me. Love, Dishes
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has 60.11 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, work
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 60.07 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo" At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home" The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
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has 60.02 % from 136 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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has 60.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop? A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
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has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
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has 59.95 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, memory, sex, time
Q: What do men and garbage bags have in common? A: Black are bigger than white.
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has 59.92 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, insulting, racist, white people
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