"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates A: Hugh Hefner.
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf.
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila. So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin. The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating? The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job. The bartender smiles and says I remember my first. The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.