Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with?
A: A dickhatership!
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Vote:
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh.
Class: Oooooohhhh!
Theres this girl,she is five.
She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!"
Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean?
The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND!
Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom.
Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo!
THE dad says "Shit!"
So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?"
And he stammers "Shaving cream".
So she said okay and went about her day.
Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey.
Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!".
So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?"
And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting."
All of the sudden, they hear the door.
Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door.
He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?"
And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."