What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Dear Husband,
I have been feeling really dirty lately. Please do me.
Love, Dishes
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!”
The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.”
Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked.
Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.”
And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Vote:
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?"
A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?"
"No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled."
"No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.