The best dirty jokes

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost." God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest." The man replied, "Okay, great!" But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam." The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt. God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god, science
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kitty
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, men, sex
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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has 61.94 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, travel
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, vulgar
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dirty, new year
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house. He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, drunk, stupid
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