Q: Why doesn't Smokey the bear have any kids?
A: Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Roses are red, violets are blue...
I'm in love but not with you...
When we broke up you thought I cried
But all it was...
Was another guy,
You told your friends that I was a trick,
I told mine that you had a weak dick...
I said I loved you
And you thought it was true,
But guess what baby?!
You got played too!
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh.
Class: Oooooohhhh!
Q: Ever had sex while camping?
A: It's fucking intents.
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months.
The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area.
The doctors think hard about this.
They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea.
Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy.
He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
Two sperms.
The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?"
The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote:
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet.
She is funny, s*xy and flirty.
Now she tells me she is an undercover cop.
How cool is that at her age!
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!