The best dirty jokes

What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
Vote: has 59.79 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees!
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A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Vote: has 59.77 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
Vote: has 59.75 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel. A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs. He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs". She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Vote: has 59.50 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

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I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
Vote: has 59.46 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
Vote: has 59.41 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Vote: has 59.31 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, dirty