The best dirty jokes

Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. Girl: Well its wrong... Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time
There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, “Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!” The other asked, “What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina? Let me go see.” Both of them went in the room with the woman, and they both curiosly looked. Finally, the second man said, “You idiot, this ain't no shrimp it's a clitoris.” And the other man replied, “Well, it tasted like shrimp to me.”
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has 61.39 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
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has 61.37 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, dirty
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
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has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A guy walks into a bar, orders six jägermeister shots. The bartender asks him if it's a special occation? The guy answers "yes indeed, my very first blowjob". The bartender gets excited and says "Congratulations, I'll give you the seventh shot on the house". The guy answers "Nah, if six jäger shots isn't enough to get rid of the taste, the seventh wont make much of a difference".
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has 61.35 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
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has 61.32 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: dirty, nurse, old people, viagra
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 61.28 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
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has 61.23 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
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has 61.20 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
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has 61.05 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
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