The best dirty jokes

A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down. He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring. As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?" To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!" And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, time, work
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, sport
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
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has 62.61 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, dirty
Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: bar, cowboy, dirty, disgusting, horse
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A lady puts an ad in the paper that reads: "Recently single and looking for a man that will not run away, not hit me and treat me right in the bedroom." One day her door bell rings and there is a man with no arms and no legs at the door. He says: "I am here to answer your ad in the paper. I have no arms so I will not hit you and no legs so I cannot run away." She says: "What about the good in bed part?" He says: "How do you think I rang the doorbell?"
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Dear Husband, I have been feeling really dirty lately. Please do me. Love, Dishes
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has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, work
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
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has 62.37 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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