Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office.
When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop?
A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
On a pair of boxers:
Caution!
Contains nuts.
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms.
The girl behind the counter says, “What size?”
He says, “I don’t know.”
She hold up a finger and says, “That big?”
He says, “Bigger.”
She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?”
He says, “Smaller?”
She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.”
She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”