The best dirty jokes

Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, dirty, family, stupid
A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel. A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs. He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs". She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty
One day there were two men. One was driving a Mercedes Benz and the other was riding a horse, both waiting at the traffic light. The man in the Benz looked at the horse and noticed something different, that horse was not a normal horse. It was an electric horse and has 3 buttons in it if you press one button it moves forward, if you press the second button it moves faster and if you press the last button it will stop. The guy in the Benz was really impressed, so he asked the guy riding the horse if he wanted to trade the horse for the Benz, so he agreed. They did the trade and the guy riding the horse drove the Benz and went on his way but the other guy was still stuck in the traffic light trying to get the horse to move. He tried all the buttons but the horse does not seem to be moving so he called the horse owner and asked him if he can come back to show him how to move the horse. So the guy came back, he pressed all the buttons again but the horse still doesn't move. He noticed the horse's penis was up so he tells the other guy: "Ohh you forgot to release the handbrake!"
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, horse, men, technology
The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, math, technology
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 60.60 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
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has 60.54 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl says "Mommy what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies "Ummm... they are making cakes. now come on, we'll go to the Zoo" At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother "What are they doing?" And her mother replies with the same response, "They are making cakes. Thats it we're going home" The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?" Shocked, the Mother says, "What? How do you know?" She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
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has 60.51 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
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has 60.49 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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has 60.47 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
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