Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London?
They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis.
The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?"
And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
What’s the difference between a barmaid in the evening and a barmaid at night?
A barmaid in the evening is fair and buxom.
A barmaid at night is bare and...
Two friends talk:
"Hi, what are you doing?"
"Not much, writing a Valentine's Day greeting card."
"Why are you writing it with your left hand? Are you left-handed?"
"No, I just can't let my right hand to see it. It's a surprise for it."
Vote:
Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q?
A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
Vote:
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile.
The crocodile told him, "Please let me go.
I'll grant you any wish you desire."
The man said, "Okay.
I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date.
I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist.
At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart.
A man laughs.
Another man asks him why he laughed.
He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."