The best dirty jokes

Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, viagra
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."
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has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Did you hear about the two poofters who went to London? They were really pissed off when they found out Big Ben was a clock.
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has 62.46 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, time, travel
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
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has 62.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
My dick is too long and it causes some problems for me. On the other day when I with my girlfriend went to cinema suddenly I had an erection so that the shadow of my penis was reflected on the screen. Somebody from the corner shouted: "Mr bald sit down please we want to see the movie!"
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has 62.38 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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has 62.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with? A: A dickhatership!
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has 62.36 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Hitler, political
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