The best dirty jokes

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?
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has 61.91 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to me." "I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches."
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has 61.90 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty, hospital, nurse
Q: If Hitler would have been a feminist what political system would he have come up with? A: A dickhatership!
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has 61.81 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Hitler, political
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 61.78 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
Being a very religious kind of person, when I checked into my hotel, I said to the woman at the desk; "I hope the p*rn channel in my room is disabled." "No," she said, "It's regular p*rn, you sick b*stard!"
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has 61.53 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A father has three daughters that are all getting married on the same day. He asks his oldest daughter, ''Who do you wish to marry? She says, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest.'' He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest.'' He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same thing: ''Who do you wish to marry?'' She replies, ''I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!''
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has 61.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac. Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh. Class: Oooooohhhh!
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex
Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!" Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom. Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo! THE dad says "Shit!" So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day. Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!". So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting." All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
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has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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