Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac. Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh. Class: Oooooohhhh!
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Q: What do men and garbage bags have in common? A: Black are bigger than white.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet. She is funny, s*xy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How cool is that at her age!
Why is the position 69 like driving car in a rush hour traffic? Cause asshole is always in front of you.
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.