The best dirty jokes

Grass is green, trees are greener. When I think of you, I play with my wiener.
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has 62.69 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, poems
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
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has 62.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, life
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
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has 62.50 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, political, soccer, sport
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: If Nuts on your chest are Chestnuts and Nuts on a wall are Walnuts. What are Nuts on your chin called? A: A Cock in the mouth!
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, memory, sex, time
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
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has 62.38 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white male and resident of Wimbledon UK, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Bloggs will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that after a night of drinking, as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Bloggs went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, poked a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Bloggs apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer B.T. approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said Officer BT. "I walked up to (Bloggs) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin". BT went on to describe what happened when she approached Bloggs: "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me, sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
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has 62.36 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, dirty, sport, time
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, flirt, money, sex
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
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