The best dirty jokes

If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
Vote: has 53.16 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

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If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
Vote: has 53.10 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
Vote: has 52.77 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
Vote: has 52.59 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper? So she can lip read.
Vote: has 52.50 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

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Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, life, men
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Vote: has 51.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? A head hunter!
Vote: has 51.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

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Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
Vote: has 51.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
Vote: has 50.90 % from 98 votes. Send joke:

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