What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf.
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.