Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?
A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
What's the rudest type of Elf?
The GofuckyoursElf.
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?"
The father, surprised, answers:
"Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts.
In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm.
In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After fifty, they are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yes, see them and they make you cry."
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party?
A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii.
On return curious other girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go in Hawaii and what did you see?”
The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room and occasionally when turned around, I saw the bed sheet too.”
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Vote: