The best dirty jokes

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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has 60.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
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has 59.97 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, sex
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
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has 59.94 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop? A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What animal has the most kids. A: A sperm whale.
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, kids
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.” She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
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has 59.88 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean? *Pulls his head to her thigh* Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
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has 59.78 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, time, work
Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q? A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty
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