Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue? A: Well hung.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet. She is funny, s*xy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop. How cool is that at her age!
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.