Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
A guy picks up a pr*stitute and proceeds to spend a couple of hours with her at a seedy motel. A few days later, he finds that he has caught crabs. He chases down the prostitute and says, "hey bitch, you gave me crabs". She replies, "what'd you expect for ten bucks? Lobster?"
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
Remember my name, because you'll be screaming it later!
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."