Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Boy: My magic watch says that you don't have any underwear on. Girl: Well its wrong... Boy: Guess my watch is 15 minutes fast
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women? Bingo!