The best dirty jokes

I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.
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has 59.12 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 59.05 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
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has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, time, work
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties. Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb. There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb. So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb. Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?" The boy looks back and says "who? me?" The man says "yes." The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker." The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker." The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
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has 58.65 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, dirty, game, kids
On a pair of boxers: Caution! Contains nuts.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops. He runs towards his school and into his classroom. He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing". The teacher says "Yes". Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there. He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there. So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt". Little Johnny says "O.K." The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?". The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't". When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now". Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
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has 58.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty
How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only.
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
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