The best dirty jokes

Little cowboy runs into a Bar shouting angerly "WHO's the lousy varmint that painted my horse green?" A big cowboy sidles up to him and says "I DID.. want to complain to me?" "No," says the little guy "just wanted you to know that the first coat is dry!"
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has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: bar, cowboy, dirty, disgusting, horse
Q: Why do walruses love a tupperware party? A: They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, party
Tow millipedes went for honey moon. The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
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has 59.68 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, love, sex, wedding
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, flirt, game, sex
Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chest nuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth
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has 59.46 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, work
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Little Johnny, "Why are you so fat?" Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuck ur mom she gives me a doughnut."
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!" Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom. Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo! THE dad says "Shit!" So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day. Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!". So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting." All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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