Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
A teacher was asking his pupils to tell the name of body organs.
When he asked the name of buttocks when pointing the picture of it, one of the pupils answered: "Its name is trouble".
When the teacher asked the boy about the reason, the boy replied: "I myself saw my father last night rubbing my mother's ass saying 'what a trouble it is.'"
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."
What has a hundred balls and f*cks old women?
Bingo!
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Vote:
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.”
The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!”
“Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.”
“Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!”
“Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!”
The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!”
“Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!”
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?”
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!”
“Great!” He says and drops his pants.
The wife is on her knees doing the business.
Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!”
“Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date.
I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?
A: Well hung.