The best dirty jokes

Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chest nuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth
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has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Yo mama
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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has 60.70 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.” The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!” “Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.” “Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!” “Right I’ll give you three choices… 1 You come fishing with me and the dog… 2 You give me a BLOW JOB…. 3 or you take it up the ass!” The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!” “Wife I’ve given you three options.. You’ll HAVE to do one of them! I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!” The wife sits and thinks about it. Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?” The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!” “Great!” He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!” “Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”
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has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog, fish, husband, wife
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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has 60.29 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."
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has 60.15 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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