Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
What kind of bees make milk? Boo-Bees!
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.