The best dirty jokes

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, flirt, game, sex
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
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has 59.46 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, political, soccer, sport
I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
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has 59.41 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex, work
Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!" Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom. Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo! THE dad says "Shit!" So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day. Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!". So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting." All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 59.23 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
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has 59.17 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
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has 58.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
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has 58.89 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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