The best dirty jokes

Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote:
has 60.26 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, lesbian
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
Vote:
has 60.15 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Vote:
has 60.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What's long, hard, and shoots sticky white stuff? A penis. What were you thinking you clean minded bastard.
Vote:
has 59.97 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop? A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
Vote:
has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates A: Hugh Hefner.
Vote:
has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, viagra, women
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Vote:
has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Vote:
has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, music
John is paying a visit to his Italian neighbor in the hospital, who just had a very serious traffic accident. He doesn't look like very much: in plaster, completely wrapped in a bandage, tons of hoses and infusions. He looks like a mummy. John tries to have a conversation, but his neighbor has his eyes closed and isn't responding. Suddenly his eyes jump wide open and he starts to gurgle and during his last gasp for air he says: "Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, Pezzo di merda ...." John inscribes the words in his heart. At the funeral John tells the black-clad widow that her husband had something to say. 'And, she asks with tearful eyes,"was it that he loved me? " "I do not know," said the man, "but it sounded like Mi stai bloccando il d'tubicino ossigeno, pezzo di merda ...." The widow screams and faints. "What?" John ask startled to the daughter, "what did he say, what does that mean?" And the crying daughter says: "You are standing on my oxygen hose, you git."
Vote:
has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
Vote:
has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
<<<63646566
More jokes →
Page 63 of 96.