What has 100 teeth and eats weiners?
A zipper!
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean?
A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
One day Kermit the Frog was looking sad. Fozzie Bear went up to him and asked what was wrong.
Kermit said, "I'm having problems with Miss Piggy."
"Like what?" asked Fozzie.
"Well, Piggy wants me to eat her out and I can't."
Fozzie asked, "So, what's wrong with that?
You're not a prude or anything."
"No," sighed Kermit, "but I am a Jew."
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex?
A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
How do you make a snooker table laugh.
Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common?
You can't f**k with either one.
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"
So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"
Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said
"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!