The best dirty jokes

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
Vote: has 34.65 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

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Lady, how many sex partners have you had? Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
Vote: has 34.20 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

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A 7-year-old boy and a 40-year old man are walking together in a dark forest. The young boy says, "I'm afraid..." The 40-year-old man replies," You're afraid?! I have to walk out of here alone!"
Vote: has 33.96 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
Vote: has 33.88 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
Vote: has 33.70 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

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What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Are you gonna eat that?
Vote: has 33.50 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call an afghan virgin Mever bin laid on
Vote: has 33.40 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

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A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says, "Yes, I Love them." Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?" Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused" Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
Vote: has 32.63 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A: Fuck if I know
Vote: has 31.72 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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There is a four story building. On the fourth story there is a butcher, on the third story there is a guy with a really long dick, on the second story there is a painter who likes to paint things green, and on the first story there is a guy who loves to eat pickles. So one day, the guy on the third story had a problem, his dick was too hot so he stuck it out the window. Then the butcher thought it was salami and he chopped it off. It then fell down to the second story were the painter painted it green and accidentally threw it out the window and fell down in the pickle jar of the first story. Suddenly the guy in the first story picked the painted piece of dick from the jar and ate it. He then told his wife: Ohh this pickle is yummy, especially with the white filling!
Vote: has 31.21 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

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