The best dirty jokes

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?
Vote: has 25.67 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
Vote: has 24.44 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
What do you give the princess who has everything? A seatbelt and an airbag.
Vote: has 24.05 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

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After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in his life. After the friend told his story, he asked the same question to the friend who was chewing something. "So, what’s up man?" "It’s a shitty period, there is nothing that works in my life and I feel really bad." "What is going on?! "Last Saturday I went to Las Vegas. You know that from time, to time I’m going there to play at casino, three or four times a year. I took with me thousand dollars and I put the other hundred in my driving license that I left in the car. For the safety reasons, you know, if it goes really bad at casino, I must have the money to pay highway and go back home. And so I walked in casino, I bought the chips and found an empty seat on a roulette table, next to a beautiful woman, about forty years old with a very provocative neckline. I made my first bet on 32, the number of my house, aiming 10 dollars." "How did it go?" The guy continues to tell his story, without stopping to chew something. "Released! I felt all the winning streak and I bet again on 32 and it’s released again. I was winning almost 13 000 dollars and the adrenaline was at maximum. I felt like I was the God and around the table came so many people to congratulated me and I bet more than 10 thousand dollars on 23." "And it went out again?" "No! This time came out a bloody 13. Do you realize that I had the bad luck? I had in my hands a lot of money and if 32 came out I was settled for a life time. But the horrid number 13 ruined my evening and the hole week after." "I understand you very well. It ‘s really to eat the balls." The other friend, continuing to chew louder: "What do you think I’m doing?"
Vote: has 23.94 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, life, money
A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
Vote: has 21.96 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

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How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Vote: has 21.61 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

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Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
Vote: has 21.52 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

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How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
Vote: has 20.21 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, dirty
Who is little, black and jumps? A flee! But who’s big, black and jumps? Dr. Alban!
Vote: has 20.01 % from 89 votes. Send joke:

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A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
Vote: has 19.39 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat