When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Peter approaches the gates of Heaven. "Knock knock," says Peter. Miraculously, someone answers him. "Who's there," a voice in the distance asked. "God," says Peter. "God who," asked the voice? "GOD DAMMIT open these gates! I've been a good neighbor, loved my wife and lost my virginity, twice!"
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon? A: A Tic-Tac.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.