The best dirty jokes

Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 54.46 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon? A: A Tic-Tac.
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has 54.45 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
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has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
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has 54.41 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
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has 54.34 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, party
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
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