The best dirty jokes

Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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has 55.44 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 55.39 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
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has 55.38 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music
Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
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has 55.38 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, poems, sex
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
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has 55.37 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: black people, dirty, kids, party, white people
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
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has 55.20 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug, duck, weed
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners? A zipper!
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do dogs and women have in common? They both like 12-inch bones.
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has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, IT, phone, technology
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