The best dirty jokes

A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 54.80 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him. The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample." The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."
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has 54.67 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, old people
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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has 54.62 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do a gay and a garbage truck have in common? A: Both take it in the rear.
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, gay
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
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has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ? In both cases you really dont want to look down !
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has 54.44 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
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has 54.41 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.
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has 54.34 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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