If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners?
A zipper!
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?"
A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp."
The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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Roses are red
violets are blue.
My dick has glue
I offer it to you.
What do dogs and women have in common?
They both like 12-inch bones.
We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?
They're going to call her Old Spice.
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