If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
On a pair of boxers: Caution! Contains nuts.
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners? A zipper!
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?" "Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
What do dogs and women have in common? They both like 12-inch bones.
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.