The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Me - Can you go to your moms room? Friend - Yeah, why? Me - I left my pants in there. Friend - Fuck you!
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Make choking noises...
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!