Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?
He's down to four butts a day.
A hunter was out with his dog Old Faithful when he sees a duck and shoots it down.
Old Faithful runs and brings his back the duck.
As the hunter reaches for the duck a forest ranger comes by snatches the duck out of Old Faithfuls mouth puts his finger in its ass pulls it out smells his finger and says
"This here is a Wisconsin duck, do you have a license to shoot Wisconsin ducks?"
The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Wisconsin duck.
The officer says "thank you, sir, have a great day and leaves."
The hunter then proceeds with Old Faithful when he sees another duck, takes as I'm and shoots it down.
Old Faithful runs grab the duck and come back.
The hunters about to grab the duck when the same forest ranger comes back, grabs the duck out of the dog's mouth take his finger puts it up the ducks ass, pulls it out smells his finger and says
"This is an Ohio duck, have you got a license to shoot Ohio ducks, sir?"
The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for an Ohio duck.
The officer looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, just doing my job, have a nice day," and leaves.
Well, this kept happening over and over.
Every time the hunter shot a duck and Old Faithful would bring it back, the Same forest ranger would be there to question the hunter if he had a license for all the different ducks he shot, and in his bewilderment seeing the hunter having all these different licenses for each duck.
Well on the last duck the hunter shot and Old Faithful bringing it back, the Same forest ranger comes and triumphantly snatches the duck out of the dogs mouth, takes his finger puts it up the ducks ass, smells it and says
"This here is a Canadian duck, have you got a license to shoot Canadian duck?"
Exasperated, the hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Canadian duck.
The forest ranger looks at the hunter and says, "you know sir, you've had a license for every duck you shot, tell me, where are You from?"
The hunter turns around, drops his pants, bends over and says, "You tell me! You're the Expert!"
Three policemen are sitting in a car.
Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already.
On thinks of an idea:
Guys, lets play golf.
All we need is a stick, ball and a hole.
I can arrange a stick, – one says.
I will get a ball, - adds another.
Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen?
Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Q: Why did the lumber truck stop?
A: To let the lumber jack off.
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon?
A: A Tic-Tac.
A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him.
The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample."
The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."
Vote:
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
Vote:
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos"
So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos"
Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said
"Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.