Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Q: What do men and garbage bags have in common? A: Black are bigger than white.
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex? A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners? A zipper!
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.