How do you make a snooker table laugh.
Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean?
A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend.
Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad.
We must have come close to her cubs.
Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me.
One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took.
I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
Vote:
Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q?
A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
Vote:
Want to make a porno?
We don't have to tape it.
There was a boy watching tv with his parents.
A sex scene comes on.
The boy asks what the people are doing.
The mom said "they were just making a cake."
The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch?
He's down to four butts a day.
Roses are red
violets are blue.
My dick has glue
I offer it to you.
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end.
He'll come out a wide receiver!