The best dirty jokes

Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
Vote:
has 56.16 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, political
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
Vote:
has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage. What will they use to set those guidelines? A growth chart.
Vote:
has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, viagra
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
Vote:
has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish." The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka." When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her. It was the best vodka they'd ever had. The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?" "Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Vote:
has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
Vote:
has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, priest
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
Vote:
has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
Vote:
has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kitty
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
Vote:
has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, travel, women
<<<70717273
More jokes →
Page 70 of 95.