The best dirty jokes

Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Yo mama
Q: What does Barbie use as a tampon? A: A Tic-Tac.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish." The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka." When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her. It was the best vodka they'd ever had. The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?" "Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? A: They both have balls just for decoration.
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has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, priest
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 55.58 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kitty
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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has 55.44 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 55.39 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
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has 55.38 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
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