How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean? A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q? A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
There was a boy watching tv with his parents. A sex scene comes on. The boy asks what the people are doing. The mom said "they were just making a cake." The boy goes"oh yea, I saw u and daddy making a cake yesterday and I Licked up all the icing."
Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? He's down to four butts a day.
Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!