If the sea was weed and i was a duck i'd swim my way down and smoke my way up, but the sea ain't weed and i'm not a duck so pass me the bong and shut the fuck up
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
On a pair of boxers:
Caution!
Contains nuts.
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants;
I asked her "Is it thick?"
She said "yes dear."
Again I asked: "Is it warm?"
She replied: "yes honey."
Then I asked: "Is it soft?"
She said, "yes of course."
"It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote:
Joke has 55.22 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
What has 100 teeth and eats weiners?
A zipper!
Q: What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common?
A: They both have balls just for decoration.
A little boy asks his Mum "why am I black and you are white ?"
"Don't even ask," she replies "when I think back to that party... you are lucky that you not bark !"
Vote:
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
What do dogs and women have in common?
They both like 12-inch bones.
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge.
A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo.
She looks at the shelf behind the register.
"How much for the white one?"
"$10."
"How much for the black one?"
"$20."
She buys the white one.
A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo.
After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one.
A third lady comes in for a dildo.
She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one.
She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went.
"Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: