The best dirty jokes

A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 56.30 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Yo momma's clitoris is as long as my dick.
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has 56.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Yo mama
Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
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has 56.06 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, vulgar, Yo mama
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 55.95 % from 162 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Three policemen are sitting in a car. Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already. On thinks of an idea: Guys, lets play golf. All we need is a stick, ball and a hole. I can arrange a stick, – one says. I will get a ball, - adds another. Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
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has 55.93 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
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has 55.90 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music
One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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has 55.87 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Are you a candle? Because I want to blow you.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
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