Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Q: What did the prick say to the balls? A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!
He came into my room late at night. He sat over my body, He sucked, swallowed and he left. It was terrible. It was a BLOODY MOSQUITO!
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.