My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
Q: What's the difference between 3 d*cks and a joke? A: Your mom can't take a joke.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Whats the second thing thats hard in the morning? waking up!
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys? Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile, and all I can think is "Wow that is a big word for a nine year old."
Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?