The best disgusting jokes

There were these two bums and they were hungry when they came across road kill. The first bum went down to eat it when he looked up at his friend and said, "Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?" He replied, "No I think I'll wait." So they continue down the road and the first bum said, "Look - some more road kill, I'm still hungry. How about you?" His friend replied, "No, not yet, I think I'll wait." The first bum ate the road kill. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back and he puked the whole thing back up on the street. Seconds later, his friend dove in and ate every last slickery drop of the puke. The first bum said, "I thought you weren't hungry?" His friend replied, "I was always hungry, I just wanted a warm meal."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, food
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
A guy walks into a bar and announces that he can close his eyes and name what kind of alcohol he is drinking and how old it is, just by taste and smell. A drunken guy at the bar says, "I bet I can give you a drink that you can't name." "You're on," replies the guy, "as long as you pay." So the drunken guy puts a drink on the table. The guy sips it, gags and spits it out. "This tastes like piss!" "Yeah," says the drunken guy, "now guess how old I am."
Vote: has 67.34 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, disgusting, drunk
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
Vote: has 66.94 % from 242 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, women, work
Yo mama is so fat whenever I want to make sex I would request her to fart in order to find the address of her ass.
Vote: has 66.87 % from 189 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, fat, sex, Yo mama
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Barnum & Bailey was transferring the circus from one town to another. The elephants were connected trunk to tail. They came along a railroad crossing and as the elephants were halfway across the tracks, a train came along and killed two of them. Shortly thereafter, B&M Railroad received an invoice from Barnum and Bailey for $10,000. B&M immediately called Barnum & Bailey and requested an explanation for the charge, writing, "What is the cost of a new elephant?" Barnum & Bailey responded, "$1,000 each." B&M responded, "But, we only killed two of them!" Barnum & Bailey said, "Yes, but you pulled the assholes out of eight others."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, elephant, money
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law
Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church? A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
Vote: has 66.53 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, disgusting, gay


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