The best disgusting jokes

After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
Mommy, mommy, I don't want to visit grandma today! "Shut up and keep digging, boy."
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More jokes about: disgusting
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong, mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep.  The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the toilet. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and he pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, disgusting, travel
Say, "Do I smell popcorn?" right after you fart. So everybody takes a big whiff.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
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More jokes about: disgusting
What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, ginger
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
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More jokes about: disgusting, marriage